Abhishek, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I identify with almost all of it. Would be really useful if you could share how you managed to cultivate self-compassion for yourself though. You very rightly pointed out that “taking it easy”somehow translates to “lower your standards”, and while intellectually I understand all of this, it is genuinely SO hard to turn off that critical inner voice. In fact, it has become so second nature to me that most of the time, I don’t even catch myself being that Duryodhana. I’ve tried shadow work, vipassana (where my biggest learning was becoming aware for the first time of the enormous violence I actually practised toward myself), and so many other modalities, but it’s really hard to undo years of self hatred. Shedding some more light on the process of ‘unbecoming’ would be really helpful. Thanks
Really appreciate you sharing this, and the fact that vipassana showed you the violence in it is huge, even if it doesn't feel like progress yet. I think that's usually the hardest part, actually seeing it.
Honestly, for me it wasn't a method so much as just noticing, over and over, until it became automatic. The bus moment forced the first time, after that it was just catching the voice mid-sentence, again and again, for months, before it started to soften on its own.
I don't think there's a fast unbecoming. Just a lot of small catches that eventually add up...
Thanks for sharing Abhishek!
Thank you for reading.
Abhishek, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I identify with almost all of it. Would be really useful if you could share how you managed to cultivate self-compassion for yourself though. You very rightly pointed out that “taking it easy”somehow translates to “lower your standards”, and while intellectually I understand all of this, it is genuinely SO hard to turn off that critical inner voice. In fact, it has become so second nature to me that most of the time, I don’t even catch myself being that Duryodhana. I’ve tried shadow work, vipassana (where my biggest learning was becoming aware for the first time of the enormous violence I actually practised toward myself), and so many other modalities, but it’s really hard to undo years of self hatred. Shedding some more light on the process of ‘unbecoming’ would be really helpful. Thanks
Really appreciate you sharing this, and the fact that vipassana showed you the violence in it is huge, even if it doesn't feel like progress yet. I think that's usually the hardest part, actually seeing it.
Honestly, for me it wasn't a method so much as just noticing, over and over, until it became automatic. The bus moment forced the first time, after that it was just catching the voice mid-sentence, again and again, for months, before it started to soften on its own.
I don't think there's a fast unbecoming. Just a lot of small catches that eventually add up...