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Ameen Shokoya's avatar

This resonated with me so much, and it perfectly articulated a conundrum I have been delaing with. Thanks so much Abhishek.

I recently sent a deep and resentful message to a female friend of mine who had the habit of escalating my once-in-a-blue-moon-fuckups, without even stopping to consider the tons she commits I always choose to ignore.

The aftermath came with mixed-feelings, as I lost a friend who deeply knows me, as well as the possibility of remediation, for words are like eggs: never to become whole once-broken.

I have been reflecting over it, and came to the conclusion that I need to voice my discontent earlier in friendships (and in relationships, hopefully) to prevent such emotional attacks in the future.

PS: That same friend reached back out after a month so I could be there for her in a personal situation (because “I’m the only one she knows who never complains and is ever-present,” but now afterwards she has once again taken a backseat in the friendship because I in the past said “hurtful words.” Cognitive dissonance haha

Abhishek Agarwal's avatar

It's tough losing a friend, even one you know deeply. But it sounds like you already know the real lesson here: say the small thing before it becomes the big thing. Easier said than done, I know.

Thanks for being this open in the comments. And sorry for the slow reply.